Dan Wilson Comedy blog

I haven’t posted in a while, and I hate to even waste my time posting on this topic. But I’ve grown weary of the Brett Favre saga. No, I am not weary of Brett’s indecisive nature. I am not weary of even hearing about it. I am weary of the media complaining that he’s such an asshole, and then giving him all of the air time in the world on the topic.

Newsflah, he is no longer the Brett Favre he was in Green Bay. So I say, SO WHAT! The guy wants to keep playing. AND? What’s the big fuss about. He’ll go to Minnesota, toss 20 touchdown, and 22 interceptions. He’ll “retire” again, and come back next year and play for Tampa Bay. Put up identical stats, do it again, and be back the following year with the Panthers, then the Lions, and eventually the Wichita Wolf Pack. Who cares? Why do you feel so betrayed by a guy wanting to continue to play football? Nevermind the fact that your obsession with sport has led to your divorce from your poor, attention-starved wife, your phenomenal beer gut, probably your erectile dysfunction, and you looking like a hybrid between George Wendt and Chris Farley in the Zagat’s SNL sketch.

GET OVER IT. Move on with your lives. Were your lives this affected by Steve DeBerg? Who played for nearly every team ever devised? In every sport, on every continent. Steve DeBerg was even on my little league team, and he was 35 at the time. People come back from retirement. You didn’t shit over Mario Lemeiux, or Deion Sanders, or anyone else for that matter. Except Michael Jordan, and that’s because he’s black. Don’t cringe, you know it’s true. Sports writers LOVE bombing on the black athletes. Example: Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O’neal, Barry Bonds, Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Ray Lewis, etc.

Shut your yaps. Thank you. Just tell me if the Giants won or lost please, I don’t have cable.

* John and Kate plus Nate

* Police Anatomy 3, city under siege

* The Proffesional

* The Porn Ultimatum

* Michael Jackson: Jizztory (too soon?)

* Family Bi (credit: heather anderson. i liked it too much to omit)

* Everybody Makes Love to Raymond

1. Cuban mullets.

2. Wearing wrist bands when I make love to my girlfriend. And by girlfriend I mean, Mark McGwire’s son.

3. Running from responsibility.

4. Date rape. It’s acceptable in certain social situations.

5. Gloria Estefan live in concert.

6. Tattoos done in minimum security prisons.

7. Roid rage. Not steroids, hemmorhroid rage.

8. The tranformers movies. Shia Lebouf is so dreamy!

9. Killing small animals with my bare hands to prove I’ve “still got it”.

10. Outing my friends on their drug use, yet not outing myself on my own sexuality.

Whatever happened to having a little self respect? Whatever happened to the good old days when not everybody thought they were the hottest piece of ass alive?  I can remember a time when having 1,000 pictures up on a website meant you were a whore, and there was something terribly wrong with you. And now, thanks websites like myspace and facebook, we allow people to post picture after picture, usually the same damn pose, making the same stupid face. We get it, 10 lonely guys on facebook want to fuck you.

Congratulations.

Too bad dignity doesn’t want to fuck you. I find increasingly more and more people are truly convinced that they are completely hot shit. Anybody can make a website, anybody can post pictures. It doesn’t mean you should. I can shoot a basketball and make it a few times out of 10, it doesn’t mean I’m ready to go pro. I blame the whole “you’re good enough and smart enough” crap that parents feed their kids. If you truly want to see your kids shine, tell them they aren’t shit, and will never be shit. Take a page out of Joe Jackson’s parenting handbook, and watch your kids blow the world away.

at the moment i’m completely re-doing my website, and this blog will be the “other half” of my website. so, my website will be updated somewhat regularly, but i will be using tumblr on the daily to get the idea and message across. what idea and message? follow me, and you’ll know.